Dorothy Martin-Neville, PhD, DCEP

Coaching has become one of the fastest growing fields in mental health and personal growth.  With the right coach, the process of coaching can be absolutely transformational…. and every one of us has needed that at one time or another.

In sports it is the coach’s responsibility to be able to see the big picture, to see the options, the obstacles, and the player’s abilities.  It is the coach’s job to see things clearly, without a distortion of focus because of the ability to see from all possible angles.  In life coaching, success coaching, career coaching and for myself, in the world of Executive Coaching there are the same expectations and responsibilities placed on the coach.

In my work for over 20 years as a psychotherapist, I have seen how each of us has, in different ways, lost sight of who we really are. Each job description, each group of individuals does it slightly different and for different reasons.  Yet the result, a feeling that something is missing in life, in side of our selves, is real, powerful, and impacting.

Have you ever wondered when you were ever going to get the chance to really begin living your life?  Have you ever thought that there must be something more, perhaps so much more, to life than you had at the moment?  For executives, there has been a real mission, or focus, to achieve a certain level of success, a certain level of financial security, and professional development. 

The price that gets paid for that success, that security, and that development, however, can be quite high. Often it is the decision to not have children, to not marry, or to move frequently eventually never feeling as if any place is home.  It can also be the cost of a marriage or two.

At some point, there comes a time, for many, when what doesn’t work, or what isn’t there, is felt more significantly than what has been gained.   In my experience, that happens to yiou when you are so ready to begin living your dreams that you can no longer continue the way it has been. It is your soul’s way of calling you forward into living – rather than surviving this journey.

For some, “dreams” came from a place of pure logic. In truth, dreams do not live in the world of logic; they live in the soul, in your heart, and in adventure.  They are the gift that calls you to become all that you are capable of being. If you are at a place in your life where it is time now to discover your dream, know that it really is possible.

There are very logical steps to use to find that supposedly illogical dream that will feed you on every level. Because your energy is limited, you need to first look at how you are using yours.

1.      Look at the energy drains you have in your life, professionally and personally. What can you get rid of? Are there negative thoughts that keep being regurgitated in your mind? These  are thoughts that bring you down telling you what is wrong with you etc.  Are there situations or people you have allowed to run your life – directly or otherwise? If yu are to find your dream you will need your energy for far more useful projects.

2.      Look at the areas of your life that are truly important to you. Creating the life you want, or finding your dreams, requires an understanding of what feeds you on many levels.

3.      Discovering your purpose has 4 steps: Clarity in listening to your heart; Intention in making the decision with no other options; Devotion in vowing to follow through; and Flow by stepping into the flow of life force.

4.      Having a vision for your life bridges the gap between the visible and the invisible. Michelangelo sais “The great danger is not that your hopes are too high and you fail to reach them; its that they are too low and you do.”

5.      Do the values you are living in today support your dream and vision you have for your life? If not, they need to be changed and realigned with your dreams.

6.      Setting goals that are outside of your comfort zone since that is where your dream is. The greater the risks you are willing to take, the greater the chance to achieve your goals.

7.      Creating a personal identity where there is only room for success.

8.      Confronting and eliminating core beliefs that sabotage you and your dreams.

9.      Understanding and learning from your negative emotions. They help you see your own methods for self-sabotage.

10.  Self Mastery is power and integrity lived on a daily basis. When you develop the skill of self-mastery you are able to bring in joy, peace, and living out of the box all at once.

The fear of achieving your dreams is supported by the belief that you can’t have one anyway. There can be a belief that your life is too full, too busy, with too much responsibility. These are all tools of the negative emotions to support you staying stuck.

In my life, each time I felt compelled to make a change  each time I felt I was being called to jump off yet another cliff, I discovered that even with the fear, whenever I jumped, I always landed on my feet, and I always came to stand up solidly again; each time with more of me than I had access to before the jump. Each dream I have followed, each cliff I have jumped from, has provided me with more of me than ever before. I developed clearly, an awareness of how free we actually are and how easily we can give that freedom away.

If it is your time to find your dream, know that it is just over that cliff and the view is beautiful.

Just reach out your hand and let someone help you along the way to finding the real you and the dream you have yet to actualize.

Call 860-461-7569 or email dorothymartin-neville.llc@comcast.net