Dorothy Martin-Neville, PhD, DCEP

I have been in the field of mental health for over two decades and yet to this day I am excited and intrigued by the way people think and how they respond, or react, to life’s situations. We are all so amazingly alike and yet so very different at the same time.  For some, I am aware that mental health can be an area of great fascination, and for others, an area of great fear. There is the fear of being thought of as “crazy” or “weak.” Certainly, there are those very infrequent instances where psychiatric conditions such as Paranoid-Schizophrenia, Uncontrolled Manic/Depression, and Severe Autism may exist. For those relative few individuals who truly have those conditions, their bio-chemical conditions are severely imbalanced and may require a life-time of medical intervention.  In those instances, at least at the moment, medication is considered to be the avenue needed to support a base level of functioning.

However, miracles happen daily and progress is being made in the treatment of such conditions as we reach outside the box for possible solutions or assistance in supporting these patients in living a life with joy or at least a level of peace and stability previously unknown. Although such medical conditions may have always existed, the frequency or prevalence of any particular disorder, whether physical and/or mental, is cyclical and dependent upon the cultural trends at the time. A clear example of this is the current upsurge in Asthma and Attention Deficient Disorder.

In my practice, for the vast majority of individuals who are looking at mental health issues, the real question or dis-ease is much more in terms of finding true peace, relaxation, and joy in their lives. Finding  purpose, a sense of self,  passion for living, and a real sense of belonging are the motivating factors for most who are currently seeking help, whether self-help or from a professional. Anxiety and/or depression, which are the most commonly presented difficulties for those entering treatment, are actually the emotional consequences of those who have lost their way without realizing it.

In my experience, when we begin to think that life is random and happens “to” us, we can become frightened and often reactionary. This way of thinking results from a belief that we are no longer actively co-creating our journey but rather passive recipients of what comes our way. When we begin to recognize that no matter what happens we will land on our feet, even if we don’t like where we landed, we can then adapt and figure out where to go from there. There is a clear understanding of the powerful role that we play in our lives.

As an example, depression exists only to the extent that we believe we are powerless. It happens often with folks who have done everything right, and yet who ask a common question; “What happens when you have done everything right and yet it all feels so wrong?”  My response is always: “Stop doing everything “right” and start doing everything real. Learn who you are, not who you think you should be.”

That may not be a simple answer to understand or accept since most folks think that who they have forced themselves to become is the real them. If that were the truth, they would be at home in their own skin, in their lives, and on this planet. We are all spiritual beings, embodied souls, living an adventure or discovery and becoming all that we are capable of being. When we lose sight of that, we get caught in the superficial aspects of the journey and tend to move toward survival rather than living. As a result, of that loss, our health, on all levels, is compromised. Consequently, we need to achieve an understanding of which aspect of who we are has been forgotten.

Wholistic health requires that we look at all aspects of who we are and how each aspect is impacting the others. Our mental health does not exist in isolation; it exists in a context. In the field of mental health, in psychotherapy, it is possible to spend only about 1-2 weeks, maximum, working with a patient’s childhood. However, looking at our past allows us to see how we developed our world view. It allows us to see our life in the context of the family we grew up with. We can come to understand why we think the way we do and why we see the world, our selves and our relationships the way we do. We also can see why we act and react the way we do. Once you know those things the next real question is “Is there any thing about all that that does not work for me in my life right now?” If so, are you willing to change it? It could be your personality, your view of life, or of other people, or your expectations for you and your life. If they are in my office today, it is because their problem is impacting their life today. This approach suggests that the ‘today’ problem is the priority – so why not work with that? Doing so will indirectly help heal the past as well.

Some believe that our mental health is always in fluctuation. We all go through life experiences which leave us filled with ecstasy and excitement, we all go through experiences which fill us with great fear and anxiety, and we have all had experiences which have filled us with great sadness or rage. The fact that we are in those emotions can be a very healthy response to a very emotional situation. Staying in that reactionary place however, is where the imbalance in our systems begins.

The difference between a healthy and a reactionary response is the result of the spiritual belief systems of one individual versus the other. What if you believed everything has a purpose? What if you believed, spiritually, that there are no accidents?  In my experience, people who believe these things – although they may not like everything that happens in their life, see the occurrences in their life, as being purposeful, as a source of learning and of growth. They often, after a period of time, see that it was a gift. Consequently, they go through the grief, the anger or the fear and then they come out the other end.

These particular skills of learning and letting go, can be developed if you do not possess them yet. They require you to take risks, to stop surviving and start living. They require you to jump into life, fully, so that you can begin to see what it is you want in your life, how you want to get there, and what you want to do once you arrive. They require you to give up the illusions of powerlessness or of being in control. Mental health, for most, is a result of the decision to live life fully, and to let go of all those beliefs that hold you back. Often times we have beliefs we do not even recognize, yet they are powerful enough to stop us in our tracks. That is the role of psychotherapy and the skill of a well-trained and experienced psychotherapist.

In going further, life can be seen as a spiritual journey. If we see ourselves as powerless and are thus fear-filled, it can be because we have come to a point where we believe that we are in this world alone and that it is more than we can handle. What if we were not in this world alone? What if we have never walked alone? If we are intrinsically spiritual beings, wholistically, wouldn’t our spiritual belief systems have a massive impact on our emotional state?

What are your spiritual beliefs? What is your view of the world, of you, and of your life journey? Those beliefs impact you on so many levels, most certainly on the level of mental health. Working naturally, you have got to work with all of your nature if you are to be fully, wholistically healthy. Your mental health depends so much on your spiritual beliefs and where you see yourself fitting in your world and in your life. I believe we are all both contemplative and communal beings. Living our life in community is a necessity, living it inwardly as well is what allows us to be fully present, fully alive, and fully balanced, on all levels. If something is missing in your life, especially you, it may be time to call and see how you got lost in your life and how to reclaim your journey as your creation not your reaction.

Learn what makes you whole and alive, living your journey not surviving it…………………….

Dorothy Martin-Neville, Ph.D., DCEP, LMFT, LPC, EMP, is the Founder and President of the Institute of Healing Arts and Sciences (IHAS). Her credentials include being a state-licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in practice for 23 years; she is a Clinical Instructor at the University of Connecticut Medical School. Dr. Martin-Neville has certification in Jin Shin Do, Advanced Acupressure, Reiki, Hypnotherapy, Iridology, and Reflexology, and has studied Consegrity. She is a graduate of the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, and is currently Vice President of the Mental Health Association in Anguilla in the Caribbean.

Dr. Martin-Neville co-chaired an advisory board for a $2 million grant entitled Frontier Medicine, awarded to UCONN Medical School from the National Institutes of Health (NIH). This grant supported research in cellular regeneration and cellular reconstruction, as well as cervical and breast cancers in addition to pilot studies. She received grant funding from the NIH to research the application of The W.I.S.E Method™ (developed by Dr. Martin-Neville) in working with Fibromyalgia patients.

Dr. Martin-Neville is an international healer, author, and speaker, and has been featured on over 50 radio and television talk shows in the Northeast, California, and the British West Indies for her work in energy medicine as well as other topics based on her psychotherapy background. Her publications include: Dreams are Only the Beginning: Becoming Who You Are Meant to Be, 2002, Dreams are Only the Beginning: Companion Workbook, 2002, Your Soul Sings, Your Body Dances, 2008, and an audiotape, Supporting Your Life Energy, 1992.

Contact: Tel: 860-461-7569 Email: dorothymartin-neville.llc@comcast.net