Dorothy Martin-Neville, PhD, DCEP

Book – Introduction

How many people realize that their soul speaks through the body? How many truly accept that we are embodied souls with a deep and profound connection between the spiritual and physical worlds to such an extent that our mental and physical health is defined by our ability to listen to that connection? How many people actually know how their body functions in relationship to their expectations and beliefs, whether conscious or unconscious? I believe completely that our soul speaks through our body. We know when something isn’t right. We know when something or someplace doesn’t feel good or when something is off balance even when we can’t put our finger on just what that is. That level of intuition can be more readily acknowledged as applying to our spiritual and emotional knowing however it just as readily applies to our physical health. My first goal in writing this book is to support you in becoming as familiar with the full power of your inner knowing and with your soul’s messages, as you are with the messages from your cell phone and your email.

When that level of intimacy with yourself, that level of knowing and familiarity develops, you are more than capable of being fully present to your life and to the essence of you. You become connected to your passion, your vibrancy, and this journey you are walking in ways you never would have imagined. Your body/soul connection becomes the governing factor in your life. Maintaining that relationship becomes such a joy-filled, enriching, and exciting adventure that your life is transformed in such a life-giving way that it feels great to be alive and finely, perhaps, in love with yourself.  Come with me on an adventure into the real self, the solidly-connected and integrated self, the one you may never have known existed, or perhaps had a sense of but only occasionally encountered, by “accident.”  Most all of us know that sense of freedom, and aliveness that shows up in the midst of an “AH HA!” moment; we can live in that experience daily. It is so much easier than you think.

In a world that has been conditioned to stress and to competing in order to survive, we have learned to keep our vision outward on the world around us so much so that what gets missed are the natural  values that call us to live life fully, alive, and passionately. What we miss most is us; the self that gets ignored while the outward personality interacts with all the people and things that we believe will make us feel loved or safe.  This book is about learning to remember, to remember the you that existed a long time ago and to recognize the you that is so very much alive beneath all the stress for survival. A second goal in writing this book is to support you in remembering, in coming alive, and being more aware of your journey, your body and your own precious essence.   I believe we are here on this planet to thrive, to live life filled with vision and creativity while also having the time for reflection, quiet and peace to support the actualizing and clarity of those inner visions.

We each have a fairly unlimited capability for accomplishing all that choose along our journey. The first step, as I see it, after over 20 years as a psychotherapist in private practice, is learning to listen and discover what it is that we are here to accomplish. What is it that fills our soul and body with excitement, with an eagerness to get up in the morning? What is it that makes you glad you are you? So many folks come in to my office, or my school, unaware of what feeds them, what excites them, what makes them feel alive. For the most part it is because they have lived their lives being who they were “supposed” to be to such an extent that they forgot who they really were. Learning to try new things or to explore potential interests until they found something that excited them seemed too difficult a chore for many especially since they “should” already know.  How could they? If they have been taught to live a certain way, to feel a certain way, haven’t they been systematically disconnected from who they truly are? Even today, to be “good enough” we need to look a certain way and to speak a certain way. To be an executive you are supposed to have a certain look, to have a certain presence that is appropriate for the role. Yet don’t most of us love to see someone do it their own way, to see someone who has the strength to say, “No, that is not my style, I can succeed beautifully while doing it this other way.”? As long as they still treat people with dignity, and still have the ability to laugh at themselves which we all need, we can really support another’s sense of individuation because it is not against anything, it is simply for the self, a self they are fully aware of.

In looking at the physical reality of life and a healthy interconnection, how many people have you known who have said “My dad died at 43 and I probably I will to”? Back in the early 1980’s, when AIDS first came to Connecticut one of my patients told me he had one year to live. I asked him how he knew this and he said the doctor told him. Because this was a new phenomenon I was surprised that anyone could or would make such a prognosis. When I mentioned that and said that I thought there was also a chance he could live 20 years or more and that only time would tell, after some convincing he opted to go with the twenty year prognosis.  I saw him 15 years later and wondered what would have happened if he had believed the first time-line. How many have died according to a time-line someone else naively offered?  I fear and grieve for those who so innocently give their power of self-determination away. Who do they choose to believe?  Why?  My mother was given three months to live by her surgeon and internist in early 1975. She told them she had too many children who needed her for her to leave at that point.  She died, instead, in 2006 with her great-grandchildren attending her funeral. Clearly, mom did not buy that message or prognosis. She had too much to do before she left this life.

Conversely, have you ever had a physical and been told that you are in great shape yet know, when you listen to that inner voice, there is a knowing that something is wrong you just do not know what? I believe that that inner voice is the message to listen to. Obviously, I am not referencing those moments when we all can be slightly paranoid with a touch of hypochondria because of so many other stressors we are under elsewhere. We can tell the difference between the two when we learn how each “knowing” feels in our body. When we learn to listen to the real messages versus the fear packed reactions to stress. “The sky is falling, I am dying.” feels very different from “Something doesn’t feel right, perhaps I need to take some time for self-care, more sleep, better eating, and some quiet time.” One comes from fear while the other comes from the “knowing” within.

As with anyone that you are getting to know, it just takes time. How much time, depends upon how invested you are in the relationship.  Learning how your body energy feels when it is balanced, how it feels when there is a problem in a certain part of your body is an amazing task. You have lived with this body all your life yet getting to know it inside and out, at any age, is an adventure of discovery.

I have written two other books based on how your soul speaks through your dreams, your aspirations. Your soul’s longings get expressed in that desire from within for you to grow and move forward, to reach for the next dream. Those dreams call you to become more of who you were meant to be, one dream at a time. Listening to your body/soul conversation lets you recognize that you feel it all through you when it is time to go forward, to stop being comfortable and grow again.  You get restless and want more of you and more of life. In learning to listen to that conversation between your soul and your body, you learn how you are meant to live in this journey you are walking, one dream at a time. Others can guide you and support your process, we need them in our lives, to help us keep things in perspectives some times, or to show us the straightest line in getting us out of our own way  but we must have listened  first just to know where we are going and what we need to do to get there . In regard to your health on all levels, it is the same. It is the same characters, just a different level of conversation. One level of conversation helps you see the journey you are here to walk while the other supports you in staying healthy so you can.  It is a wonderful trip, enjoy the ride.  You will never look at yourself or life the same ever again.

Chapter One

You are not your personality – you are so much more than that.

Prayer, meditation and rituals all serve to support us in remembering the spiritual dimensions of life. They are tools for the journey to inner-silence and reflection. They are wonderfully supportive instruments that allow us to have the comfort each provides in a different way. I support and practice each of them. In addition, the ability to understand what is happening in your body, to be able to understand your honest, and immediate, reactions to things and to others, comes with your ability to understand and accept who you are, without judgment. So many of us judge ourselves according to who we have been taught we should be, and how we have been taught we should feel. We can get so caught up in the “shoulds” that we never get to look beneath and simply say “But……regardless of what should be, this is what is really going on and I want to deal with that in a way that supports me living in my truth while also becoming who I want to be.” Permission to do that changes everything.

If we are honest, have we not all had the urge, on at least one occasion, to simply slap someone who is annoying us? Have we not all had the urge at least once to simply tell someone off “in no uncertain terms”? The urge to do it is simply that, an urge, an impulse, it is what it is. We can work hard not to feel it since we have judged that feeling or urge as bad. We can pretend we didn’t feel it since we don’t want to think we are capable of having such a feeling or we believe we should have grown beyond that urge by now.  The reality is however that if the urge is there, we do, we did, and we haven’t. If we just accept it and know that we did feel it, then we get a chance to be real and take a look at what is stressing us so much that we went to such an over-reaction with something that probably had a wide number of alternative responses which could have worked and made us feel good about ourselves. That chance to look at ourselves, accepting where we are, also gives us the chance to recognize we need to stop, we need a break, we have been pushing far too hard and perhaps for far too long and by simply observing our behavior, which may or may not be out of character, we get to acknowledge, first hand, that some self care needs to take place and soon.

This really isn’t about the other person. It is about us. There are a lot of folks on this planet, including us, who can annoy anyone given the right circumstances and the right stress level. What we do with it is what counts. Do you blame the other? If only they….. Or can you acknowledge that if you were in a better place this probably would not have bothered you anywhere near as much? This is just a quick example of how, being able to go inward, and be in relationship with yourself, without judgment or self-hatred, supports you in being real and dealing with you and your life as it is.  With an increased level of peace and self-acceptance, with permission to feel whatever you feel, and then simply come from the place that is your truth, rather than your reaction, you will find that more and more often anger is the last place you will go to. You will find that you are so much more at peace with yourself and as a consequence being at peace with others is much easier and much more real.  Open and honest communication even with yourself makes being in relationship with others so much easier and more natural.

Based on years of experience working with clients/patients/students  who are searching for a way to understand themselves while also living in relationship with others, I have come to see some clear steps that are necessary to go through in the search for healthy relationships. They steps take work; you will need to be nurtured as you explore them, so that they can come to be enjoyed. You will learn how to do them while learning, consciously, how to be in relationship to the self.  The steps as I see are:

1.       Learning to identify your own character structure and your personality traits and tendencies. Take responsibility for your behavior and all your reactions and responses while also acknowledging that you are not your behavior. Behavior is a product of conditioning and choice, conscious or unconscious, but choice nonetheless.

2.       Observe how you respond or react to different people. How much is based on expectation? How clearly do you hear what they say or do you already know and have a prepared reaction just waiting for a chance to be expressed? Look at yourself and understand how you interact with various personality styles. It gives you permission, ultimately, to respond while giving up reaction and all that it demands of you.

3.       How deep a connection do you want with others? Are you truly interested in a life of intimacy? If so, are you willing to pay the price even if it means letting another truly see you? Letting another see the “good” and “not so good” aspects of who you are? Are you willing to give up the masks you wear to project yourself as something you wish you were so that others never really see who you are? This step takes you every place you want to go in terms of truly being seen, being loved completely for who you are, and most importantly, being in love with yourself as you are at this moment.

4.       Finally, when all the above have been addressed, as much as is possible, are you willing to own the reality of co-creation? Can you acknowledge that you have never walked alone and that where ever you are in your life is a result of the opportunities presented and of the choices you have made? So many choose to blame their life situations, big and small, on others.  Blame is a simple way of not owning the responsibility or the consequences of choices we have made. Not necessarily mistakes, but choices that nonetheless did not go the way we may have liked.  When we look at our ability and the choices we have made in our life we can see, without judgment that at times we have made choices based on emotions, on imaginary need, or in haste. Sometimes as well, we have made very good choices, but those choices were not meant to be forever. They were gifts we gave ourselves that lasted as long as we needed them even if not as long as we may have wanted. Taking responsibility for our life, gives us the freedom to sit in our truth and look at what it is that we truly want to do with our lives and to make the decisions necessary to make it happen. It supports us in living our lives in focus, in intent, and with assertive ownership rather than with passive acceptance.

Have you noticed that when you wholeheartedly decide to do something it happens? Have you noticed that when you are finally ready to make a commitment to doing something, perhaps getting a job “out of no-where” you find so many job postings, or you hear about someone getting ready to hire more staff? I believe that when we finally commit to making a decision, and go forward in living our life, Spirit gives us the opportunities we need to go to the next level. It is our choice to take it and thus work together, in Co-Creation to make it happen. Spirit is there but we are also required to participate. Sitting on the couch watching TV while waiting for a miracle to happen is unfair. Praying, opening-up to it, and working to have a miracle makes it possible to notice that job posting, or that stranger that” just happens” to cross your path. I believe miracles take place every day. They are when we and Spirit work together to co-create something of significance that may change other’s lives as well as our own.   Our spirituality, the recognition that we are essentially spiritual beings, and the living breathing reality that supports us along the journey, is a very pragmatic, intellectual and profound aspect of our life that gives it its greatest meaning, and direction, and fullness.

In order to help you fully understand all of this within a context and at a very deep level, I will explain all of this in far greater detail. It is a gift to understand because in understanding yourself, in a multi-dimensional way, you gain the freedom to be the you that you want to be while realizing all those things you hate about yourself or your behavior are a means of self-betrayal not self-expression.  The freedom of self-understanding, without judgment, fills us with an excitement of learning who we are as embodied-soul who are essentially holy, healthy, beings walking this earth to support our own spiritual growth while also being here to help make this world a better place.

We all live on three levels simultaneously, the most superficial being:

• The Personality Level. It is here that much of this work begins since this level is often times who people think they really are. This can be represented by the “should” we have bought into or by a mask of toughness which has the illusionary power of protecting us, or even the victim mask which we can show while we wait for someone else to rescue us. Whichever it is, and these are only a few possibilities, it is primarily the result of our early childhood conditioning combined with the energy we brought into this journey. In any event, we are not our personality; we are so much more; it is simply the level we are most conscious of because it is what we show the world. We will look at this in greater length shortly.
• The Hara Level. This is the level resonates when we purposefully choose to live our life in a particular way. It is on this level that we are clear, focused, and aware, with an ability to live from a place of intent. The power of this level is demonstrated when we witness the ability of those who practice the Martial Arts and can perform amazing feats or when we make a decision to do something and the follow-through flows easily rather than in ambivalence.
• The Essence or Core Level. When we learn to live primarily from this level we are coming from the essence of who we truly are. At this level we are the purist self we can ever be. This is a place where unconditional love is a way of life and a way of viewing the world. From here you live a life of joy, lightness and choice rather than one of sadness, heaviness, compulsion or reaction. This level reflects the soul that has always existed and as a result reflects your unique self with all the gifts you possess. It contains the compiled wisdom of all the journeys you have walked. Remember as embodied souls – we each possess all of these spiritual qualities, and as humans so many qualities, supportive and otherwise exist as well. We will never, on this earth, be all of one or the other.

To understand each of the three levels listed above with more depth we will follow the order presented, and begin with perhaps the more difficult level to work with, the personality level, since it is there where our wounds, fears, and defenses exist.  In the figure below, I have shown the many levels of the sphere on this level, and where it all leads when we have done the work necessary to see, and begin to live in, our core essence. Beginning the process inward, to reclaim what we may have lost along the way to adulthood, usually entails some degree of awareness, or mindfulness, which allows us to see that what we create in our lives- what we bring in- may be a result of how we approach life, what our expectations are, and how we expect to get them met.  Personal growth, a by-product of recognizing personal responsibility for creating the life we want, calls us to look at ourselves and the people in our lives, without judgment but most definitely in recognition of who we and who they have chosen to be.

Our parents have certainly influenced us, our world view, and our approach to life, yet once we reach 18, or young adulthood, it is us that make the decisions about our lives. For many of us, our parents told us not to eat before dinner, yet how many of us munch as we cook or eat munchies while we are figuring out what to eat? Many of us were told not to talk to strangers and yet our lives are filled, in business and in service, in speaking to strangers. We let go of the messages that no longer fit how we wanted to do our lives. We let go of the limitations that were imposed upon us when we were children. Choosing to keep other messages, such as “You will never amount to anything.” Or “That is too hard for you to do.” or “You’re not like the others.” or even “Don’t get to big for your britches.” is due to the fact that either we are not even aware they are still running our lives, or, we still hold onto the belief that they were right and that gives us permission to not have to succeed, to not have to strive (If I don’t try, I can’t fail.), and to not have to give respect to another when we are still looking for it towards ourselves.

Levels of the Personality – Figure 1

As I said above, we must first be mindful enough to know our life is working, or not working, as much as we want to have the motivation needed to begin the process of personal growth. Once started, however, it can become an exciting world you never get enough of. In my experience, the more we grow the more personal freedom we achieve. The mores we look at ourselves, the less we need to live in the world of denial. The more uncomfortable we are in our own skin, while knowing we can grow to love that body, that man or that woman, the more we can come to be at home in our own skin. For many of my students/clients there has been an embarrassment that they were “not done yet.” And as a result they were embarrassed that they hadn’t finished dealing with all their “stuff.” The truth is, no one has. As in everything else, the more you know, the more you realize what you don’t know. That can be a reason for self-hatred or a reason to begin one of the most challenging and yet exciting adventures of your journey, inward and with the greatest rewards. The greatest reward in all of this is that in learning to live from your core, rather than in defense or fear, you learn to live in a place of unconditional love. You are able to achieve that level of relationship which allows you to truly know yourself and another and see the beauty in it. This is where true intimacy exists, true acceptance, and not in spite of who you are but because of it. There are no bad guys here, only folks who choose to live in their truth and come from their essence, and others who choose to live in defense and fear and thus in self-betrayal. Remember for a moment those times when you felt most close to someone one. It is usually when you have felt most seen, and most accepted. How wonder to know that you are seen, accepted, and loved because of who you are, not who you are supposed to be.  All the dimensions of who you are get seen, those parts of you that are all loving, and kind, or clear and concise, as well as tough parts of you that want revenge, to be spoiled, to be self-righteous and in control and demanding what you want. As an embodied soul, you have the traits of both aspects. Accepting that and knowing it allows you the freedom to look at what you love about you and relish it.  It also allows you to see the parts of you that you don’t like, that cause you embarrassment, or which betray who you really are keeping you stuck in a place you have long outgrown but haven’t been able to let go of yet. Accept all this allows you to love you, and then others equally. This is the true win-win situation and you are capable of it, if you are willing to pay the price and look for the real you in the journey of your life. Let’s begin now, by learning more about the “you” that has received so much attention, praise and complaints. It is a part of you that you know, but often times probably cannot understand  such as why you did that or said that or what really is going on when you say the opposite of what you mean, or hurt someone you love, or found a strength in time of need that you never realized you had.

Understanding the Many Layers of Your Personality

There are many approaches to understanding the personality, many tests and questionnaires that you can take to help you understand the whys of your behavior. The approach that I have found most useful, most succinct, and most productive however in helping others understand, hopefully without any judgment, who they are and why they do what they do is in a combination of Core Energetic and Mindfulness training.   For those who want more in-depth understanding of each of these approaches you can go to. ………  Figure 1 above gives a visual presentation of how these layers exist within your personality.  I would like to expand that further and explain in far more detail.

When I was growing up there was a belief that by the time you reached 18, you would have the job you would hold until you retired.  We also believed that someone’s personality, or who they were, was well-defined by the time they turned 18 if not before. To this day I can have a twenty year old walk in my office and say “I am who I am. This is me for the rest of my life.” I want to say, and I do if the timing is right, “Sweetheart, you haven’t even begun to become who you are, or who you are capable of being. You do not even have a clue yet of what is possible.”  I truly believe this. Our lives are constantly unfolding in front of our eyes.  We are constantly changing as a result of our experiences, and our view of them. God willing, you are not the same as you were 5 years go or 10 years ago. There is an expectation that you grow as you learn to deal with so many more things than you dealt with previously. There is also an understanding that as you grow you develop particular life-skills that you only need as certain situations arise. You may have had the potential earlier, but actualizing your potential can make you a dramatically different person. I believe that is a part of becoming who you were meant to be.  If each of us has a reason for being here, has a particular life lesson we have come here to learn to support our own spiritual growth, I believe we also have a particular skill that the world needs that each of us has in our own unique way.  We need the world and the world needs us. Looking at how we relate to the world, which is our personality style, supports us in making ourselves available to follow those two tasks we have come in here with, helping our own growth as well as supporting the world in its own growth.

Looking at Figure 1 you can see that at the center of all this is your own essence. Again this is about supporting you getting to your core, getting to that part of you that gets fed in all your interactions, that is alive, free, and passionately creative without mask, defense, lower self or wounds.

Mindfulness:

 This level implies that you are aware of what you are doing and that you know how to get to your core, recognizing when you are not there. It implies that you know yourself well enough to know what you are feeling, and how you feel it. When you are so detached you cannot follow a conversation, you now that, if you are paying attention to you. How do you feel in your body at those times? Do you feel as if you are “besides yourself”?  Are there times when you feel as if your life is running ahead of you and you can’t catch up? Do you have times when you feel you are outside of the picture that is your life as if you are watching it? During those moments you are mindful, you are conscious of what is happening with you. Because you are conscious you have the choice of deciding if this is how you want it to sty aor if you want to change your energetic experience of your life at that moment and become more actively involved and/or more participatory in your own life. If you don’t, do you know why? What is going on? Is it fear? Sadness? Disappointment? Exhaustion? What do you want to do about it? All these are choices you have but only if you are even aware of the fact that all this is going on. Coming to know yourself so well can actually be quite exciting. It is like reading a book where you are discovering a whole new world, a whole new you and unlimited options for change if you choose.

Personal Growth:

As I said above, personal growth is not a choice, really. The difference is that you will grow; you simply have the options of deciding if you will grow in a way that supports you, or grow in a way that makes your life so much harder than it needs to be. Do you find yourself continuously getting into the same predicaments all the time? Do you tend to blame all the folks in your life for that mess? Do you have one person you blame for everything that doesn’t work in your life? “If only they were different my life would be so much easier, so much smoother, so much more fun, so much less complicated…” Do you really believe that is true? Could it be that you take you everywhere you go and no matter who was in your life you would blame him or her? If you want a different life, or a different experience in the life you have, what are you willing to change? What belief system? What perspective of yours needs to shift in order to have difference in your life? What world view? I have found with many patients and students that a belief that life is a struggle causes them to struggle with everything they do eventually. If they believe that life is hard, the first thing I tend to hear from them is how hard things are. How hard the changes are; how hard it is to get along with all the difficult people in their life, or with their partner.

My question is always, what are you willing to change about you? In what way are you willing to grow?

Once we stop the blame game, once we give up the illusionary victim role, once we are ready and willing to take responsibility for our lives, for it becoming whatever we can dream, we are then ready to begin the process of personal growth that supports us in coming to a place of co-creating the life we want. We are ready to take the steps necessary to begin the personal growth to be who we want to be and to have the life we want to have. Going forward and backward on this is only human; accept your humanity in the process. It is fun to grow when you see the immediate results. It is fun to grow when you see changes in your life and you can get excited about the prospects.  Imagine what happens to the fun when it also means that you can no longer blame someone else for you being late? For you not getting up on time? What happens when growth means you now need to confront that person you have been avoiding to make your boundaries clear or to own responsibility for something you did wrong or avoided doing? Growing at that point in time becomes a debatable issue. The cost can seem too high. I know that feeling and at the moment it makes sense. In the long run, however, it means staying stuck. When anything in my life isn’t what I want it to be, it means I need to change it, change my perspective on it, or accept it because it isn’t about me. Any of these choices cause us to actively participate in our lives. Making a choice does that. It puts us in the adult consciousness and truly allows us the freedom to create a life we can be proud of and that we can claim as our own. Even if it is something we created with another, it was our personal investment and growth that supported it happening.   Consequently, we can take equal pride in the accomplishment. We chose to be an adult and to grow. What a gift you give yourself in that process.

Mask:

Often times the first step, and the hardest for some, is to admit that they may carry a mask and then to look at what it is and what it represents.  As an example, if you were raised to believe that you were supposed to be a “good girl” or “good boy” you learned early that you are praised, or even loved, when you are a good. As a result, being “bad” meant learning how to do it without being seen by others or even doing it without you seeing or needing to own it yourself.  Most of us have known people who present as the sweetest little thing and yet we have seen the other side. What of that person who has on such a strong mask of “good” that it is far too sugary sweet, even annoying? They need you to believe they are that good because that was their way of being loved and appreciated and who doesn’t need that?  They most likely are not even aware of the impact their presentation is having on you since they have been living with it for their lifetime.

The other aspect of their mask is that when it is so long standing, they do not remember ever having developed it. They believe this is the truth of who they are. It has become their home base. As a result, they have great difficulty acting any other way, and yet they do.  The folks with this particular mask, will get nasty, or mean, or even sneaky if need be yet find a way to deny such a thing took place. They were not nasty; they were “just showing you where you made a mistake.” They were helping. They didn’t mean to forget to pick you up they were just very busy. Always their acting-out is reframed as not being “bad” at all but simply what “anyone” would do. They are not at fault and would never do something to hurt or annoy you. You took it wrong.

You can see that there is a great need that they and you buy the mask. It is what makes them good enough, or safe. There are many masks, to name a few:  If you were raised to believe that you were supposed to be very intelligent, your mask may be one of superiority. Not having an answer or being seen as wrong is considered a crisis and can’t happen. You will make up an answer before you admit that you do not know.  You will call it an “educated guess” or something that you heard along the way. Anything is better than admitting that you do not know. That is too human and makes you too limited or not enough. If you were expected to be strong, you will put undo stress on yourself to be able to handle all sorts of physically challenging tasks to prove your point, or emotionally challenging situations to show that you can handle anything. It is imperative that you do so in order to be accepted, liked, and safe.

Knowing your mask, or masks, allows you to stand apart from all that you were told, it gives you the ability to see where you leave the truth of who you are in order to become who you were meant to be according to others. We only do this when we believe that who we truly are isn’t good enough. It is based on a belief that this mask is perhaps far better than who we are so therefore if we behave the way we are “all” supposed to behave we will pass and then be good enough.  If you are a good girl or boy and someone is looking for help when you are so tired you could collapse or cry, do you still say “Sure” ? Or do you have permission to say No or to not join the conversation.

Contact: 860-461-7569    Email: dorothymartin-neville.llc@comcast